i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
