u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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