So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
