after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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