'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just tell him i said nine months
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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