Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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