I heard we made out
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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