your room smells of hookers.
And success
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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