Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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