i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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