Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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