I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
