there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
