She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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