and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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