Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
