My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
