idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
