he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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