So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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