I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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