And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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