Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I cockslap morals
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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