the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize