spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize