the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
