I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
