he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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