it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
