That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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