And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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