dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
