i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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