I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
