so explain again why im purple
no
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
