So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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