So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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