party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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