is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.