I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
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i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle