How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.