I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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