I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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