I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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