Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
