once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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