yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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