You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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