And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize