Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
