My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
