if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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