I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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