Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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