Buhtt sex?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
two words...techno handjob
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
