The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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