So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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