I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
