I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
