Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
