Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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