pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We left an ass print on the piano.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
