I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
from now on my penis is your penis
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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