He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
