I cockslap morals
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
