Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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